What's in a Due Date?

Recently, I have been hearing a lot about due dates.  I'm a doula, after all!  It seems like there are more pregnant woman around me more now than ever, though...including those I am not assisting.  About ninety percent of them are preoccupied with their due dates.  Some, who are 36 or 37 weeks have already decided to talk to their OB about inductions.  I have heard stories about women being told they were going to have big babies.  There has been talk of scraping membranes.  One week after a so-called due date, a woman I know is being induced.  I have to admit, I was very anxious for my baby to arrive.  I wanted to see his beautiful little face and hold him in my arms.  I wanted to be a parent.  I wanted his brother(s) to meet him.  I wanted the pelvic pressure to go away.  I wanted my Carpal Tunnel to disappear.  I wanted to never feel heartburn again.  My midwife changed the due date a few times based on my baby's weight and growth.  I stopped believing in due dates once she just went ahead and changed it, and then changed it again.  Really?  Well, why don't we just change it to a month ahead of when he's due then I'll believe he's early.  I have said it before, and I'll say it again...there should be a due month or due time-frame.  No one should be handing out due dates like it's a definitive. 

How do you calculate a due date?
"When thousands of pregnancies are studied, where the first day of the last menstrual period is known for certain, the average length of pregnancy from the first day of the last menstrual period until delivery is 280 days. To calculate a due date, you simply add 280 days to a reliable first day of last menstrual period. If you add 280 days to a last menstrual period of April 14th, 2002, you get a due date of January 19th, 2003. This method results in a slightly different due date than you would get using Naegele's Rule, but virtually all modern care providers use this method." (Kutzler)


I have tried to encourage some women to relax about their due date.  I keep saying, "when your baby is ready, he or she will come out."  I recently encountered a situation where the baby just wanted no part of leaving the warm, familiar comfort of his momma's womb.  She had her membranes scraped twice.  Her water broke and still contractions were few and far between.  The little man just was not ready.  Momma tried foot massages, nipple stimulation, laboring tub, walking, birthing ball...nothing.  It wasn't until after 12 hours that the OB strongly suggested pitocin.  Momma agreed...reluctantly, but tired enough to give in.  She was also in a hospital setting, so her options were very limited. 

Here is an article from Compleat Mother by Laurie Morgan where she discusses being given a due date can cause unnecessary anxiety and her thoughts on just listening to her body. 


How long should a woman feel comfortable going overdue?


From Laurie's Thoughts on Childbirth Frequently Asked Questions

I would never put a number on how long a woman should feel comfortable going "overdue". For one thing, errors are too easily made in recording of dates, and length of natural gestation varies widely, not only from woman to woman, but also from baby to baby. Instead I would just focus on my overall health and the well being of the baby. We all have a wisdom inside us that we need to listen to, to let us know if something is not quite right to the point of needing intervention, be it "early" or "late" in the pregnancy. Plus there are physical signs of well being that are common sense that I can always look for. Is the baby moving like usual? Am I feeling well?

I would like to encourage all pregnant women and their loved ones not to think about pregnancy, labor, and birth in superficial, mechanical terms (e.g. what color this is, what size that is, how much of that came out, what number of those there are...). Instead, pay attention to your overall well being and that of your baby. Focusing on external "danger signs" can actually distract mother from receiving important inner cues.

As I like to say, mothers carry everything they need within them, whether it is the wisdom and power to seek out necessary help or to give birth completely alone. During pregnancy, just like during labor, mothers don't need to be searching for problems, but instead remaining receptive to messages their bodies give them. As a general rule just take good care of yourself and your baby, be "in tune" with your inner wisdom, and don't let arbitrary rules and measures influence you.

I personally went 20 days past the "due date" I'd estimated with my last daughter. That story can be found at the end of the book I just self-published online (links below). I quit believing in the accuracy of due dates long ago, but since I did know when we conceived I figured it out for fun (ha!) I don't plan on doing that ever again. I was comfortable staying pregnant as long as my baby needed me to, but the pressure and negativity that family members and strangers heaped on me was unnecessarily stressful.

When the baby comes, the baby comes. I've decided (and would highly recommend) not to ever even bother predicting when my future babies are going to come. No charting, no recording dates of menstruation, intercourse, or conception, no addition, subtraction, multiplication or division at all. I'm very excited at the thought of going through an entire pregnancy without a single guess as to when the baby will be born next time. Fewer than five percent of babies are born on their due dates anyway! How much simpler it will be to listen to my body's cues without that inaccurate and irrelevant date to compare with.

In all things, listen to your heart and things may not go as you plan, but you surely won't go wrong!